A flower in the midst of thorns

An inspiring book from a differently-abled woman Jhamak Ghimire, who explains life from her perspective. This book was honored by providing Madan Puraskar, a literary prize which is provided annually to outstanding book in Nepali language published within the calendar year. This book was printed seven times within two years span making it the Best Seller of all times. This book is an autobiography of the writer. Being a differently-abled woman, she faced many problems. So what were the setbacks of her life, how was she treated by society, how she came up to be a writer – she writes the answers to these questions in her book

Though this piece of literature is considered as an autobiography of the writer, I found this book a mirror of Nepalese society. There is a superstition in Nepalese society that when one dies, s/he will get a chance to visit Heaven only if s/he has a son. Such misconception was prevalent in the writer's family too when she was born. Further, it is believed a son is needed for the funeral. Women are not allowed to take part in the funeral hence it was like a compulsion to have a son in the writer's family. Women are blamed for not having a son in a family. Are they really responsible for not having a son? Or is it the man who should be blamed? Is it so much necessary to have a son in a family? The writer asks such questions to the society through her book.

 The writer recalls the moment when her granny died. When she died, she was put onto the bamboo and was covered with 'Katro' (a white sheet of cloth used only when one dies). A garland was put over her. Red-colored powder was put over her face. When her Granny was alive, she was not allowed to use such things as she was a widow. In Hinduism, a widow is not allowed to use bangles, ornaments, colorful clothes, red tika, etc. But when her Granny died, such things were put on her dead body. What is the use of such things when she is dead? The writer is surprised to see this. I too get surprised when I see such things prevalent in society. A man can marry another woman when his wife is dead, he can wear any clothes he wants, he can do anything he wants but a widow can't? This is truly unfair.

From the very childhood, the writer was kind of emotional person. She wished to go to school along with her younger sister. When her father used to teach her sister, she would go near to them so she could learn reading but her father wouldn't allow that. Instead, he would scold her so she would stay far from them and used to observe how her father taught her sister. The mother Earth was her first exercise book where she used to practice what she learned by seeing her father taught her sister. Her father is a representation of such people who think a differently-abled person can do nothing, who thinks they do not have any potential. People like her father can be found in abundant but people like the writer are rarely found. People make excuses for not having money, not having an opportunity, not having resources and so on but being a differently-abled person, the writer used what she had. She had an intense learning desire so she is now what few can achieve. I learned having zero opportunity is not a problem rather having zero desire to learn something is a real problem. She teaches us to use what we have rather than focusing on what we don't have through her book.

 She talks about disability through her book. She accepts that disabled people are not living their life to the fullest. Disabled people belong to this world too but she is shocked that their world is not as beautiful as the normal people. They too are made up of muscles and bones as other human beings are made but still considered imperfect. What is the definition of perfection then? She faced a lot of rejection from society and such rejections, unknowingly, made her stand against the people, the society, social rituals, and traditions. She thinks life is an experiment where one needs to perform a variety of activities to survive.

 The writer describes the human beauty with a different angle. She justifies that the beauty which the society has understood and the beauty which she has understood, do not comply with one another. The meter gauge by which the society measures human beauty are fancy clothes, expensive ornaments, and eye-catching make-ups whereas the writer considers these criteria to be useless to measure one's beauty. She thinks one's behavior is the key to measure human beauty.

 Conclusion

This is a must-read book from Nepali author Jhamak Ghimire. I found too many life lessons to be learned from this book. This book can be an inspiration to all those who:

a) thinks their life is worse and they have no future ahead

b) think they do not have resources and opportunities to move on

c) thinks the society and family is against them

d) thinks they are full of disabilities and so on

 Being a physically weak and a differently-abled woman with no family support, she can be the writer of Best Seller book, then can't we achieve what we desire? What do we lack? You know, no one is perfect here but note one thing – 'Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.' Keep a motto of learning something new daily. Get out of your comfort zone and work on until you get what you want. Then you will find the real meaning of your life. You are not here to be mediocre. Success is not spoon-fed, you have to work to get what you want. Jay Nepal!!